Yep, just when you thought you had a superficial understanding of the music every hot Latina babe busts-a-move to, yet another throbbing beat (riddim) comes along to completely numb an innocent Gringo’s brain.
Does it matter that Reggaeton mega hits like “Gasolina” and “Dale Don Dale” are nothing more then thinly disgusted Latina Booty calls? What else is new in dance music?
So what if Sinatra and Bobby Darin did it 50 years ago with a tenth of the wattage, no bass, no drums and zero bling bling. The more things change… but wait!
Didn’t those old songs have a beginning, middle and an end? Yeah, yeah, and words you could actually find in a dictionary.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we can blame Daddy Yankee, Don Omar and their Puerto Rican street Homeys for mainstreaming this new so-called music style. And honestly, most musicologists see it as a logical Latino street response to the success of Black Rap and Hip Hop (two slightly older rhythmic flavours that also suck, degrade women- we should talk- and old white men happen to be clueless about).
How did it start? Well, in the states the Latino and Black street cultures are always at war about something or other- be it turf, drugs, jobs, babes or government handouts – and thus, not to be outdone, Latinos needed their very own street music.
Reggaeton emerged as the competing force in the Black-vs-Latino music battle. It’s now a such a bleating cultural phenomena that there’s some hope that it will fade away fast like Ricky Martin the Spice Girls, Ben Afleck, or the Bee Gees. Hopefully in your lifetime, Gringo.
But you can play the game while it lasts. Its easy. And so as not to appear completely square (cuadrado) and out of it you should at least refrain from ragging on the Reggaeton to your hot Latina’s face. Bitching about the pointlessly infantile lyrics and 2nd grade talent from Latino gangstas with better car-jacking skills than musicianship will get you nowhere.
Instead just concentrate on the heavenly contortions your Latina will slip into on the dance floor as the beat kicks in (and while you contemplate your own pathetic pogo-stick moves, try not to hurt HER).