Yep, just when you thought you had a superficial understanding of the music every hot Latina babe busts-a-move to, yet another throbbing beat (riddim) comes along to completely numb an innocent Gringo’s brain.
Does it matter that Reggaeton mega hits like “Gasolina” and “Dale Don Dale” are nothing more then thinly disgusted Latina Booty calls? What else is new in dance music?
So what if Sinatra and Bobby Darin did it 50 years ago with a tenth of the wattage, no bass, no drums and zero bling bling. The more things change… but wait!
Didn’t those old songs have a beginning, middle and an end? Yeah, yeah, and words you could actually find in a dictionary.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we can blame Daddy Yankee, Don Omar and their Puerto Rican street Homeys for mainstreaming this new so-called music style. And honestly, most musicologists see it as a logical Latino street response to the success of Black Rap and Hip Hop (two slightly older rhythmic flavours that also suck, degrade women- we should talk- and old white men happen to be clueless about).
How did it start? Well, in the states the Latino and Black street cultures are always at war about something or other- be it turf, drugs, jobs, babes or government handouts – and thus, not to be outdone, Latinos needed their very own street music.
Reggaeton emerged as the competing force in the Black-vs-Latino music battle. It’s now a such a bleating cultural phenomena that there’s some hope that it will fade away fast like Ricky Martin the Spice Girls, Ben Afleck, or the Bee Gees. Hopefully in your lifetime, Gringo.
But you can play the game while it lasts. Its easy. And so as not to appear completely square (cuadrado) and out of it you should at least refrain from ragging on the Reggaeton to your hot Latina’s face. Bitching about the pointlessly infantile lyrics and 2nd grade talent from Latino gangstas with better car-jacking skills than musicianship will get you nowhere.
Instead just concentrate on the heavenly contortions your Latina will slip into on the dance floor as the beat kicks in (and while you contemplate your own pathetic pogo-stick moves, try not to hurt HER).
I have been a bachelor for about 10 years and after my divorce at the age of 45, I started to travel. I had never left my home country until then but have since traveled to 27 countries. I’ve lived in America, Europe, Asia and now Latin America. One thing for sure is that I have had a ‘healthy’ love life for all those 10 years! In America and Europe I am at best a ’5′ and now that I’m approaching 60, well, let’s just say ’5′ is probably a stretch… but in Latin America I’m a 7 or 8! and it’s been the best love life I’ve ever had! I hope you enjoy my posts.
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